Tuesday, January 28th, 2008
Seemingly far but only two train stations away, Shenzhen is the most southern point of China, a stone’s throw away from where I live. Estimated departure time is 10:00 AM and arrive across the border by 10:30.
10:00 AM - Twenty minutes after waking out of bed, the plan has already been delayed. But for how long?
10:20 AM - Just left the house. Cause of twenty minute delay? A disgusting cream cheese bun. Note to self, Chinese people can not utilize cream cheese correctly.
10:50 AM - Entered China as a foreigner even though all of us look alike. Provided the immigration officer, a young bland but attractive lady, with my passport. She looked at my photo and gleefully giggled, the photo is really old. I feel a shudder down my back. The type of shudder that forces you to realize people know you’re past your prime.
11:00 AM - Drop by the most expensive Dim Sum place in town to grab a table. On the way, experience my first exposure to Chinglish. Have no f-ing clue what they are trying to say. Something about China will enthusiastically rid the world of piracy.
11:30 AM - Mom, Cousin and friend are getting nails done. Apparently that is a must for all women is Shenzhen because it’s cheap. I wander the mall alone. Every five minutes someone asks if I want DVDs. Apparently the sign isn’t working, probably the english.
12:00 PM - Finally get a table to Dim Sum. Food is great. Service is amazing. Final bill for four people who overate. 280 RMB = approx 40 US.
1:30 PM - On a leash to go shopping, following three women around Shenzhen is a nightmare. They can easily spend thirty minutes a store just bargaining. My estimate is this mall has about four hundred stores.
2:00 PM - Apparently my cousin has the hookups for the good stuff. We are brought into an apparently unoccupied store front. Inside a man sits right by the door as a watchman. Further in, a space about the size of a close filled with people looking at fake purses. The whole spectrum of people, white people, Chinese people, Japanese people.
2:02 PM - I leave the fake purse closet, too packed, too hot, I’m coughing. I was told by the lady not to leave until I was given permission. I’m scared.
2:15 PM - I’m waiting outside for the three ladies to finish shopping forgery. All of a sudden I feel a change in the ambiance. People are suddenly frantically moving around. Apparently the prairie dog has signaled, the authorities are coming. Everyone who is selling fake products quickly close up shop.
3:00 PM - Starting to get tired of the ladies shopping. At this point an old lady who is begging for money targets us. The strategy is to move quickly and ignore. As we turn the corner, she turns left instead. I look back and she’s pulling a fake Louis Vuitton stroller.
3:30 PM - I’ve made my first purchase in China. A cheap golf glove, 35 RMB = Approx 5.50 US.
4:00 PM - My cousin’s friend needs to return to Hong Kong to pick up her daughter from school. Apparently women travel to shenzhen in groups and spend the day there together doing their nails, shopping, grab some cheap food and then get a massage. Maybe I’ll get my nails done next time.
4:30 PM - Finally start getting a massage, after the hostess totally flubbed our requests sending my cousin and mom into a rage of fury. The masseuse said she had some boy friend issues. I request 1 hour for the feet and then another two hours of therapeutic massage full body. I request men on both, figured need someone strong enough to push my fat around.
7:15 PM - About 2 1/2 hours into my massage session. Keep getting told by the masseuse that I need to lose weight. I laugh along because it’s true. Told me to find a hot girlfriend so I can show my mom. Funny because shouldn’t the hot girlfriend be pleasing to me, not my mom?
7:45 PM - End of massage session, total cost for 6 hours between my mom and I? 230RMB = Approx 35 US. I need to do this more often.
8:45 PM - Dad finally shows up for dinner. Apparently the remaining 20% of his hearing can’t differentiate 7:45 from 8:45.
9:00 PM - We eat at a restaurant that is literally 10 walking steps from the immigration area. We order 9 dishes for 3 people. Not humanly possible to finish everything. Actually possible to feed 8 people from what we order. Cost us 300RMB = Approx 45US.
10:00 PM - Cross the border and head back into Hong Kong. Stopped by the Duty free to see how much alcohol costs. 95 HKD for a bottle of Bombay sapphire, which equates to 13 bucks US. Same bottle usually costs 17 bucks US back in LA. Didn’t buy it. Didn’t want to appear as an alcoholic in front of mom and dad.
10:30 PM - Finally get home, lie down on bed. Back feels much better. Thinking I coulda used another hour on my shoulder blades. Man hands feel great…
